Adventures in Nesting: Husband Training

This post is not about the wedding, but rather the part that happens when you aren’t planning the wedding: the nesting. Were having quite a few guests at the end of the month, and I want the apartment to be ready. As a result, I’ve been spending a lot of my spare time nesting – more so nesting than wedding planning (gasp!). Before we begin, I need to introduce a term that you may or may not be familiar with.

Shaping: the reinforcement of successive approximations to train a type of behavior. Not to be confused with what Pavlov achieved with dogs. A guaranteed-to-be-covered concept in every introductory psychology course.

And as you may have guessed from that definition, one of my adventures in nesting has been “training” my (soon to be) husband. The behavior I’m trying to modify? Wet bath towel placement.

You didn’t think it was anything serious, did you? Shame on you if you did!

But anyway, in the 2 years that the PHI and I have been together, I’ve been working on him and what he does with his wet towel. As someone who’s lectured about learning theory a gazillion times, I decided to use the shaping technique. Small modifications to already occurring behavior to achieve a more desirable response. It was slow going before we started living together, but now he’s doing extremely well! Here’s how it played out:

- When we first met, the PHI would leave the towel balled up or just thrown down wherever he left it. It got funky fast and left wet spots in its wake. Gross.

- I suggest stretching the towel out over the edge of the bed, since the wet towel is already in the bedroom. The PHI starts stretching the towel out over the bed, but I think that over time the bed will suffer from the daily additional moisture.

- I move the wet towel stretched over the footboard to the bathroom and hang it over the bathroom door. This is a case of not having a good place for it in the bathroom. At the time we only had one bar (where my towel usually lives), so the next best place (still in the bathroom) was the door. PHI has recently started hanging his own towel over the door (yay!), but it makes the door hard to close.

Which brings us up to today – I think we’ve made excellent progress. As many of you know, it’s hard to change a habit, even for someone you love. I recently installed a hook on the back of the bathroom door for our towels, so that’s my next move getting him to hang his towel there. And I promise, after he does that I will leave his towel alone.

I realize that what the PHI does with his wet towel is not a terribly big deal in the grand scheme of things. But considering the relationship I have with our towels, it makes me happier to know that they’re being treated a little better while in use. And if nothing else, the smell (or lack thereof) alone is worth it.

♥

Today is a Good Day

August 18th is a good day.

In fact, if I had to choose a lucky day, today would be a strong contender.

For starters, 2 of my very best friends (who also happen to be my bridesmaids) were born today. Yup! BM Tamerah and BM Naima are celebrating another year of fabulousness.

Second, two years ago today, while celebrating BM Tamerah's birthday over dinner, I met my future husband at the Olive Garden. Who knew when I saw that sexy man moving those dishes (he was working as a bussboy at the time) that I'd be marrying him?!

So see, August 18th is a good day for me. A lucky day. A blessed day.

Naima and Tamerah, Happy Birthday. I hope its as fabulous as you are!

And to HJCS (aka The PHI): 2 years down, a lifetime more to go!

♥

Our Moving Adventure

Normally I'd say I cant believe I've been away 2 weeks, but this time I can. What have I been up to? I can tell you what I haven't been doing: wedding planning. I promise its for a really good reason.

A week ago yesterday, the PHI and I moved to Atlanta. This wasn't exactly a planned moved. Wait, no. We had planned to move to Atlanta this summer. Before July 31st when my lease in Athens expired. But up until a couple weeks ago, we could not compromise on a place to live. Or a date. He liked one place, I liked another. When we finally made a decision, there almost was not an apartment available. It was touch and go there for awhile, but it turns out there was a unit we could have, in the floor plan we love (2 bed, 2 bath, fireplace and sun room), but we had to occupy by May 30th. We learned that savory detail on May 27th.

We moved on May 30th.
I'll let you do the math on how quickly we orchestrated that move.

Believe it or not, the only hiccup we experienced was with the gas company. We had to wait a week to get the gas turned on. Yes, the gas that powers our stove, heat, and hot water heater.

Don't even get me started on the gas company.

Gas drama aside, the PHI and I have an Atlanta address and we could not be more thrilled. We love our new place, and the fact that its our place (not just him moving into my place). Its definitely been a learning experience for both of us. The PHI learned that I can be pretty tough and strong when I need to be. Like, when the 2 of us decided to move ourselves at the last minute. He also learned that I can work a small miracle and get all of our utilities turned on in about 4 hours (on the 28th). He also learned that I love to go on food/drink runs during the move, and I like to cook a solid hot meal on one of the first few nights in the new place.

What did I learn about the PHI? Well, for one I got proof that my baby is strong. Like, equipped with a furniture dolly he made the steps leading down to our terrace level apartment his b!tch. Another thing I learned is that he has gotten really good at reading me and knows when he needs to take charge and push me to keep going. Like Saturday night when it was time to unload the second UHaul load. We'd been at it all day, but the PHI kept saying "come on baby, we can do it" and we did.

However, my most favorite and valuable piece of information I picked up about the PHI is that he's a Box Nazi. Remember how I told you that alot of our boxes are unpacked? Thats because the PHI is very much like his dad - they like the house to feel like home as soon as possible. We moved on Saturday, and started unpacking on Sunday. I cooked dinner on Sunday and he could take leftovers on Monday. Yup, our apartment was that functional almost right away. A week later, our second bedroom is still in disarray (thanks partly to the half of my wardrobe that lives on the futon) and there are a few boxes here and there, but its unpacked enough to have guests over for dinner.

...which we have done twice in the week that we've lived here :)

They say that if it doesn't kill us, it makes us stronger and I can definitely see an application to moving. Moving is stressful ya'll. And I know that the PHI and I are definitely a stronger couple because of it. Since it was just the two of us, we knew that we had to have each others back (and front...and the sides when it came to my sofas - lol). But we did it, and we did it together. Were still recovering from this move, so the idea of moving again makes both of us a little ill. However, we've agreed that the next time it will be because we have purchased a house, AND that we'll be getting a mover.

No matter what it costs.

♥

Engage-aversary

{5.21.2008 - getting my Top Model on, shortly post-proposal}
Today, exactly one year ago, the PHI got down on one knee and asked me to be his wife. Since I'm sure that October 3rd will eventually trump all of our other couple-holidays (e.g. first meeting, first date, official boo-ed up date, etc), I'd like to take a moment to commemorate the day that started it all.

Happy engage-aversary baby. I cannot wait to be your Mrs!

♥

S'more Fun

I had fully planned to finally introduce you to our wedding party this week, as the ladies had a November 1st deadline to get me their bios. Well, Krissi is the only one who complied, so alas I'll be putting off the introductions for yet another week or so. Ladies, ya'll are officially being called out...next I'll be calling you!

So far, the most difficult aspect of wedding planning for me has been managing my time. Wait, no. Its been not wedding planning all the time. Especially when I have the PHI in town. See, he lives about 3 hours away and although I get to see him regularly, I cant help but want to talk wedding when he's here in person (mostly because pics are worth a thousand words.

Anyway, as a way to do something fun with the PHI, we decided to make s'mores Saturday night. It was pretty brisk outside and we lit a really cool fire and proceeded to have cute-couple time.

Here are a few pics from that night:

supplies!

first, you need a marshmallow

stick it in the fire! (gotta love my mini grill)

gotta wait for it to be just right. yes, I burned it on purpose...give it character!

Imagine I sandwiched the above marshmallow between two pieces of graham cracker and a piece of chocolate. Then fast-forward to this:

the happy couple after a couple s'mores!
I love making s'mores with the PHI. It was kinda new territory for both of us: he'd never made one and I'd never made on in my back yard. And it was fun having this adventure together. I'm learning that while its important to wedding plan so that the day goes off without a hitch, its just as (if not moreso) important to nurture the relationship right now so that after the wedding-dust has settled, there really will be a happily ever after.

♥