Sunday, January 11, 2009

A few musings

I really wanted to title this post Some Stuff that Really Grinds My Gears or remix that to be something more wedding related - but Grinds My Crinoline didn't have the same ring to it. Plus, at that point, the reference was probably lost on a good bit of my readers anyway. I digress.

Today, I wanted to just deposit a few musings about some wedding-related stuff. These are things that lately have aroused me - not in a sexy way, but in a potential-to-get-me-worked-up kind of way. See, aroused. Anyway, lets start with...

...people who got engaged after me are getting married before me
I know of at least 3 couples who are pulling this. Granted, the PHI and I have a 16 month engagement (and its kinda killing him) and I have no idea what kind of wedding these people are planning...or who's fronting the bill. But it does give me pause. Like, "whoa, am I dragging this thing out too long?" But then, when I get the bright idea to spend a day painting an aisle runner or designing invitations (more on that later), and I think about the fact that the PHI and I are primarily fronting these bills ourselves, I'm thankful that we still have 8 and some change months to go. Being engaged rocks!

...less than desirable wedding websites
The last couple of wedding websites I've seen (one of an engaged couple, one that I think surprised everyone and got married) have left ALOT to be desired. Chalk it up to my personal dislike of the canned wedding websites if you want. All I'm saying is, your website should be as much a reflection of you as the rest of the wedding. If you're saying you're a one-size fits all kind of couple, with a one-size fits most wedding, then that's fine. I wont judge. But there is no excuse for your website to be uninspired and ugly. That's just being lazy.

...The Knot's Wedding Shop
I'm still not sure how I feel about TheKnot*, but I definitely have some issues with its Wedding Shop. Anyway, when I log on to TheKnot, you always see the latest ad from their wedding store. Its amazing to me how there is ALWAYS a sale going on there. And the same things go on sale all the time. One week its reception. Another, its bridesmaids. The week after that, they have some stuff for the groomsmen. To me, most of it is rather uninspired and I've only seen one instance where the prices were low enough (and they weren't offsetting the sale by charging an arm and 2 toes for personalization) for me to consider making a purchase. I didn't, but I considered. Generally, I think if I'm going to order stuff for the wedding, I want it to really be for our wedding.

...people inviting themselves to my wedding/asking about plus ones
Our guest list is tight. And I don't mean that in no nice way.** The PHI and I are still going back and forth about who to invite, where to cut, etc. And its not because we don't want everyone there. Its just that we're not really trying to feed/entertain people who we a) don't know like that, b) don't know at all, c) don't like, or d) all of the above. We've had to make some cuts, and yes, we unofficially have a B list. But all of that is expect that. What I was totally unprepared for were people assuming they were coming to the wedding. Not even waiting for an official invitation. Por ejemplo, this lady at church found out I was engaged during the announcements, and by the end of the offering had gotten all the details and was entering the information as a reminder in her phone. During service! And our family sits on the 3rd pew from the front!

Another example: One of the members of our bridal party asked if she could bring her boyfriend. I never got back to her (my bad) but the answer is no. Mostly because neither the PHI nor I have said more than 2 words to him. I think I've only met him once. And I don't think the PHI met him at all. We dont know him enough to have an opinion about him. Totally not invited.

Essentially, only people who are explicitly invited will be allowed to attend. If you do not have the words "and guest" on your invitation (which right now, no one does), please don't ask if you can bring someone. If it were me, I'd assume the answer was no. Especially since I'm planning my own wedding. I know what its like to craft a guestlist and how tough some of those decisions end up being. Giving you a plus one so you can bring Random Negro #1...puh-lease.

...bridesmaids dress drama
I know you're thinking "wait, didn't you already sort out the dresses?" Yeah, thats what I thought too. We had the dress situation solved for about 2 weeks. This past week I've talked to almost all the 'maids, including my fab MOHs, and the plan is for everyone to wear the dress originally selected for the MOHs. I was desperately trying to avoid a bridal mandate on the 'maids dress front, but I think the situation is giving me gray hair. So I'm going to have to step in and just tell everyone what dress to wear. And while I'm talking about situations I wanted to avoid, I just want to say that it was terribly annoying to have to construct creative ways to get candid opinions from people. It was like pulling teeth. Seriously ya'll. I cant say it enough: if I'm asking, I want to know!

Hmm, looks like I spent the whole post on my soapbox. Sorry about that, I promise that wasnt my intent. I just thought it was important to document some of the more interesting things I've peeped in my bridal world...and I thought you, my lovely readers, might find them remotely interesting to.

Was I right?
Hope so! If not, thanks for sticking around anyway.

*While I'm still fairly sure I prefer WeddingBee to TheKnot in terms of where I see myself fitting in (yes, still contemplating applying for Bee status) I like that there is an active group of brides in my hometown that are willing and able to provide lots of planning advice and support.

**major brownie points if you got the reference

1 comment:

  1. argh. i already commented and it didn't show up. damn sidekick.

    Umm, what happened to the days of being engaged for AT LEAST a year? Do i know any of these couples getting married at the drop of a hat?

    Guest list. seeing how you're pretty much footing the bill yourself, you determine who comes to the reception! What i'm going to do is have a pre-reception with publix cake and punch for those church folk and then dip off to the REAL reception for invited guests only!

    Dresses. the bain of everyone's existence cause not everyone is going to agree on color or style or whatever. i personally like the MOH dresses; the long halter ones, right?


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