Thursday, December 18, 2008

Reading It Into Existence: Part 1

One of the things I'm most looking forward to in planning our wedding is deciding on the ceremony readings. I've started a file of possible readings to run by the PHI. They all lend themselves to being spoken aloud and some I can hear voices attached to. Since I've collected quite a few, I'm just going to deposit the ones I've found so far. No, this won't replace normal wedding talk...it will just give you something else to think about.

Oh, before I proceed, I just want to say that we dont have official readers yet. I know I want readings, and I know that I really want a reading that will incorporate multiple speakers - kind of like a choral reading. I'm also considering having some of the bridal party participate in the readings.

For example, I can hear my Maid of Honor Dani reciting this one:

Union
by Robert Fulghum

You have known each other from the first glance of acquaintance to this point of commitment. At some point, you decided to marry. From that moment of yes, to this moment of yes, indeed, you have been making commitments in an informal way. All of those conversations that were held in a car, or over a meal, or during long walks – all those conversations that began with, “When we’re married”, and continued with “I will” and “you will” and “we will” – all those late night talks that included “someday” and “somehow” and “maybe” – and all those promises that are unspoken matters of the heart. All these common things, and more, are the real process of a wedding.

The symbolic vows that you are about to make are a way of saying to one another, “You know all those things that we’ve promised, and hoped, and dreamed – well, I meant it all, every word.”Look at one another and remember this moment in time. Before this moment you have been many things to one another – acquaintance, friend, companion, lover, dancing partner, even teacher, for you have learned much from one another these past few years. Shortly you shall say a few words that will take you across a threshold of life, and things between you will never quite be the same.

For after today you shall say to the world –
This is my husband. This is my wife.
I think Dani would totally rock it.

Whereas the first lends it self to a singular speaker, I think the following reading screams multiple speakers...at least 2, maybe even 4. You'll see what I mean when you read it:

Blessing for a Marriage
by James Dillet Freeman

May your marriage bring you all the exquisite excitements a marriage should bring, and may life grant you also patience, tolerance, and understanding.

May you always need one another - not so much to fill your emptiness as to help you to know your fullness.

A mountain needs a valley to be complete; the valley does not make the mountain less, but more; and the valley is more a valley because it has a mountain towering over it. So let it be with you and you.

May you need one another, but not out of weakness.
May you want one another, but not out of lack.
May you entice one another, but not compel one another.
May you embrace one another, but not out encircle one another.

May you succeed in all important ways with one another, and not fail in the little graces.

May you look for things to praise, often say, "I love you!" and take no notice of small faults.

If you have quarrels that push you apart, may both of you hope to have good sense enough to take the first step back.

May you enter into the mystery which is the awareness of one another's presence - no more physical than spiritual, warm and near when you are side by side, and warm and near when you are in separate rooms or even distant cities.

May you have happiness, and may you find it making one another happy.

May you have love, and may you find it loving one another.

I hadnt figured out the logistics of the (aforementioned) choral reading, but I think something with that kind of call and response cadence would be unique and meaningful. It would also allow us to incorporate more of our near and dear in the wedding ceremony without having to stack our bridal party.

Plus and plus.

So whatcha think? Am I on to something with these reading ideas?

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