Thursday, August 13, 2009

Who does that?

Uninvited guests: the bane of every bride’s existence.

See, you spend all this time strategically deciding who to invite, thinking through all the possible justifications for why they make the cut, and agonizing over people who don’t get a high enough grade on your rubric to guarantee the invite.

And all that is before the invitations even go out. In fact, usually its before you know what they’re even going to look like! Not surprisingly, as October 3rd approaches, I’ve been having more run-ins with possible uninvited guests. And I’m always pretty surprised at the source of the inquiry. Actually, my response each time has been “Who does that?!?” Here’s whats happened (so far):

My first run-in came from one of my ‘maids. Long story short, she wants to bring her boyfriend to the wedding and for several reasons – the main one being that neither I nor the PHI have a relationship with him – we’ve essentially told her no. Honestly, I thought the matter was settled a year ago (yes, I am saying that in a year we still don’t feel like we know him; long story). But I was accosted at my FL shower about this dead-horse issue. The difference this time was she asked me in front of a small crowd of people. So I couldn’t say “What makes you think he’d be invited now when his name is not on the invitation label I printed last week?” like I wanted to (lol). Instead I punked out and said “We’ll have to see when the RSVPs start coming in.” I can’t believe I said that. I can’t believe she wants to invite someone to our wedding. I know, it doesn’t put us on the hook for actually giving him a seat at the reception, but I think opened her up to the possibility. But in all seriousness, who does that?

The next run-in came the very next day. I was at MamaP’s house packing my suitcase and trying to figure out how to get mostly everything home when there was a knock at the door. It was my mama’s godbrother’s ex-wife (were you able to keep up with that?) wondering why she had not been invited to the shower. She heard about at her ex-mother in law’s (MamaP’s godmommy) house, and after hearing that the shower was fab, proceeded to find out what happened to her invite. Thankfully she blamed MamaP and not me for the “oversight.” But my favorite part was when she said “I guess that means I wont be invited to the wedding…” Yup, especially after that stunt you just pulled, you’re probably right. Who. does. that.

My most recent try arrived in my inbox (yes, you read that right) last week during a pit stop to drop off the stuff we got at Sams. The PHI and I were having a domestic day (I’m now off every other Friday) and we took the opportunity to run some errands together. He’d never done Sams, and I imagine that from now on I’ll probably be venturing in there alone – lol. But anyway, for the sake of not getting worked up, the email was telling us that my sister-in-law’s sister-in-law (I know) has not only invited herself to our wedding, but has already purchased a plane ticket to SoFla.

Say it with me: who does that!?

It was initially framed as a question (i.e. “is it okay if she comes) but eventually turned into a request, complete with offering to pay for her plate and a reminder that she doesn’t have much family and considers the PHI and his family (her in-laws) to be her family too.

Fine. This stuff is all gradually driving my pressure up.

But not anymore. I’ve deposited here, I’ve told my friends (and co-workers), and now I’m back to the old Patti we know and love. I refuse for people to take away our choice in the name of wanting to celebrate with us. We’d love to invite everyone. But we cant. Nor are we going to initiate our own personal recession by trying to. So I’m putting it out there:

If you thought you were getting an invite and it never came, we’re sorry.

If you read my blog, and are interested in coming, thank you (!) but I am very sorry.

And if you think that you can just bop your way over to the Harriet Tubman* Theater on October 3rd, and we’re going to just let you in without a returned RSVP nor an initial invite, you’re sorry.

::stepping down from my soapbox::

I’ll be back very soon with pics and info on our invites and our menus that I just had printed. Unfortunately the invites didn’t price out as cheap as I’d like, but our invites more than made up for it. I am just swooning with love for them.


*hilarious inside joke from my FL shower. Pics and recap are on the list, I promise.


  1. wait. so i'm not invited? but i met you in person once patti!! me and stace are really close! i read your blog religioussly!!! are you sure?

    just kidding. lolol. this issue has to be at the top of annoyances for brides. my mama’s godbrother’s ex-wife and SIL's SIL? ridiculous. where does it stop? the pastor's BIL's first wife & he's now on his 3rd & she wants to bring her parole officer? it's just so much. like you said, i cannot invite the entire world (and honestly don't want to) so how about you don't invite yourself mmkay? thanks.

  2. woooooooooow.

    Yeah, those are all TRIES.

    my mom's godbrother's ex wife. She's crazy. She's not blood and she's not even godfamily (anymore)!!!! the sister in law's sister in law... STOP IT! STOP THE MADNESS!

    Maybe this is in an ideal world but I planned on inviting people to the wedding but not everyone to the reception. Does that happen?


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