I realize that I have very strong opinions about RSVPs. I had them before our RSVPs started trickling in, and now that the deadline has come and gone (with 35 invites still outstanding – SMH), my beliefs have been further underscored. So, at the risk exposing some of my ‘zilla tude, here is a letter that I wish I could send to people who have not RSVPd but are considering showing up, also known as The Unexpecteds.
Dear Soon to Be Unexpected Guest,
The PHI and I hope this finds you well. We are very....disheartened that you have decided to withhold your stamped RSVP. As a couple, we spent money on these invitations, tried to mail them out so that you had plenty of time to respond, and only received about 70% of them back. As you already know, yours was not in that bunch.
I assume that a lack of response indicates that you are not planning to attend. Maybe I'm wrong. But I think that if you have the audacity to not respond, then I can easily have the “audacity” to assume you aren’t coming... ...and then treat you as such when you decide to attend anyway. At our wedding, that will mean that the hostesses might ask you to stand to the side while they seat the guests that RSVPd and already have a table assignment. So, if you end up exercising your “rights” as an Unexpected, please try not to act brand new. The idea that the PHI and I just knew you were coming, despite you neglecting actually tell us is ridiculous and you know it.
If I haven’t been already, I’ll be very plain. I am adamantly against making provisions for people who might show up but did not RSVP. The PHI says that I’m getting worked up about something that has not happened yet. However, I cant stand it when everyone keeps telling me that no matter how much I plan for it, people like you still manage to show up. So what does that mean? In addition to having to wait to be seated, I can’t guarantee that your table will have a centerpiece. You’ll get a menu, cause I have plenty, but we’ll only have a set number of centerpieces, and your table may not make the cut.
There seems to be a misconception that the bride and groom’s feelings will be hurt if you quickly decline their wedding invite. Maybe for some couples that is the case. But for the PHI and I, we understand that were in a recession. We’ve turned down several invitations ourselves. If you cannot make it, that’s okay. But not sending in your RSVP because you’re afraid of hurting our feelings? Not okay. Like I said at the beginning, you already know if you’re coming or not. Why do you have to wait for us to call, text, email or Facebook you?
In closing, we understand that emergencies arise all the time and that sometimes the best intentions are not carried out. However, if you are receiving this letter, that is not exactly your situation yet, is it? We would love to have you celebrate with us next month, but would prefer if you told us about it before showing up. Normally I’d suggest some alternative ways to contact us, but considering we’ve already tried to use those ways to contact you, I can only suggest carrier pigeons at this point. It is our sincere hope that you have good luck with that.
Regards,
Soon to Be Mrs. Patti
...
I know, I know. That was FULL of 'tude. I'd never actually send that to someone, but I'd be okay with people thinking I would - lol.
♥
Showing posts with label invitations. Show all posts
Showing posts with label invitations. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Food for Thought: RSVPs (part two)
Earlier in part one, I talked about electronic RSVPs and why they are so appealing. But now I want to talk paper. And there is definitely some strong support for utilizing the USPS for wedding correspondence.
{yes, those are our current stack of RSVPs}
To some, electronic RSVPs are right up there will calling the couple to let you know they're attending. It just makes the whole responding process that much more casual. Which is fine if you're planning an informal wedding in a state park. But if you're going for a formal and elegant affair having people email their RSVPs doesn't exactly send a cohesive message about the formality of your wedding.
A related point is what to do about the senior citizens that might be attending (or planning to attend) your wedding. Both of my grandparents are octogenarians that don't email. However, one our guests, one of Granma's BFFs Miss Alyce does email, and she's well into her 80s. All that's to say that if your only options for RSVPs are electronic ones, its plausible you may have to make special concessions for your older (or non-tech savvy younger) guests. Not a deal breaker, but just something else to consider.
Paper RSVPs could also be a nice keepsake. One of our early RSVP designs had a space for guests to write a message to the PHI and I. I canned that for a more classic design, but I liked the sentiment behind including something like that. On a more practical note, I've also seen couples use that blank space on the RSVP card to obtain infromation about their guests plans for travel and accommodation. If you have alot of guests coming in from out of town and/or are coordinating their transportation from the ceremony to the reception site, having this kind of information as early as possible is invaluable.
Some critics argue that having a card mailed back is really old fashioned. Not just traditional, but old fashioned (negative connotation and all). And on this point, they're actually right. People have been using RSVP cards a looong time, all the way back to the days where written correspondence was the only way to correspond. Most people I know no longer send hand-written correspondence. They dont own any form of personal stationary, nor do they feel the need to send written notes for any reason other than graduations or weddings. Maybe its just me (cause I love stationary, especially if its personalized), but I think that's kinda sad. Im starting to feel like hand-written notes are becoming a lost art form.
I cant say that we struggled with the decision of what to do about our RSVPs. The PHI could care less and I knew right from the beginning that I wanted our invitation suite to include printed cards and envelopes. Personally, I love sending and recieving mail. So seeing a few of those 4Bar sized envelopes in our mailbox daily makes me immesely happy.
But that's me. And these are just some of my thoughts about RSVPs. At this point, I'm more interested in what ya'll think.
What are your thoughts on RSVPs? Is there a technological line to be drawn when it comes to weddings? Or does anything go?
♥
To some, electronic RSVPs are right up there will calling the couple to let you know they're attending. It just makes the whole responding process that much more casual. Which is fine if you're planning an informal wedding in a state park. But if you're going for a formal and elegant affair having people email their RSVPs doesn't exactly send a cohesive message about the formality of your wedding.
A related point is what to do about the senior citizens that might be attending (or planning to attend) your wedding. Both of my grandparents are octogenarians that don't email. However, one our guests, one of Granma's BFFs Miss Alyce does email, and she's well into her 80s. All that's to say that if your only options for RSVPs are electronic ones, its plausible you may have to make special concessions for your older (or non-tech savvy younger) guests. Not a deal breaker, but just something else to consider.
Paper RSVPs could also be a nice keepsake. One of our early RSVP designs had a space for guests to write a message to the PHI and I. I canned that for a more classic design, but I liked the sentiment behind including something like that. On a more practical note, I've also seen couples use that blank space on the RSVP card to obtain infromation about their guests plans for travel and accommodation. If you have alot of guests coming in from out of town and/or are coordinating their transportation from the ceremony to the reception site, having this kind of information as early as possible is invaluable.
Some critics argue that having a card mailed back is really old fashioned. Not just traditional, but old fashioned (negative connotation and all). And on this point, they're actually right. People have been using RSVP cards a looong time, all the way back to the days where written correspondence was the only way to correspond. Most people I know no longer send hand-written correspondence. They dont own any form of personal stationary, nor do they feel the need to send written notes for any reason other than graduations or weddings. Maybe its just me (cause I love stationary, especially if its personalized), but I think that's kinda sad. Im starting to feel like hand-written notes are becoming a lost art form.
I cant say that we struggled with the decision of what to do about our RSVPs. The PHI could care less and I knew right from the beginning that I wanted our invitation suite to include printed cards and envelopes. Personally, I love sending and recieving mail. So seeing a few of those 4Bar sized envelopes in our mailbox daily makes me immesely happy.
But that's me. And these are just some of my thoughts about RSVPs. At this point, I'm more interested in what ya'll think.
What are your thoughts on RSVPs? Is there a technological line to be drawn when it comes to weddings? Or does anything go?
♥
Food for Thought: RSVPs (part one)
The other day I was reading something on the interwebs about the changing face of RSVPs. Essentially, the article was saying that with all the newer and popular ways to interact with people, that some couples feel like the time honored tradition of mailing a card and requiring that you guests mail it back to you is passe.
I can honestly see both sides.
I think that the onset of social networking like personal websites, blogs, twitter and Facebook have allowed us as a society to let our guard down so to speak. Oftentimes people announce the latest and greatest of their lives to thousands (if not millions) of strangers before their own parents and family hear about it. Therefore, what is the harm in having your wedding guests email you, or leave a message on your website to let you know they are planning to attend your wedding? Evite has been doing it for ages, and companies like Paperless Post are seemingly bridging the gap between the way we used to do it, and the way people are doing things now.
There are also some financial benefits. We have been subjected to annual postage increases for the past couple of years, and mailing invites with enclosed pre-stamped RSVPs can really add up. Our of the 96 invites we mailed out, we had to stamp about 60 outer envelopes, and ALL 96 of the inner RSVP envelopes. Thankfully, I purchased 100 stamps shortly before we got engaged, another 100 or so right before they went up in May. Between save the dates, thank you notes and the invites, I still needed a few stamps to get everything out the door on time. I've stopped thinking about how much we've spent on stamps. Now I just buy them when we need them.
And not to mention that having electronic responses is considered to be very current and fairly cool. So if you are a couple that relishes in bucking tradition and doing things your own way, I can easily see how having people rsvp on your website, or on your twitter page (since Bossip says tweeps cant be deleted) could be totally up your ally. Its just you, keeping it real, communicating with your guests in the way your choosing.
I cant get mad at that. The wedding industry encourages you to do your wedding, your way. And if you way involves electronic rsvps, then I am all about doing it.
I'm sure you can anticipate the opposing argument. But pop by a little later if you're interested in what I think about leaving things more like they already are.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Who does that?
Uninvited guests: the bane of every bride’s existence.
See, you spend all this time strategically deciding who to invite, thinking through all the possible justifications for why they make the cut, and agonizing over people who don’t get a high enough grade on your rubric to guarantee the invite.
And all that is before the invitations even go out. In fact, usually its before you know what they’re even going to look like! Not surprisingly, as October 3rd approaches, I’ve been having more run-ins with possible uninvited guests. And I’m always pretty surprised at the source of the inquiry. Actually, my response each time has been “Who does that?!?” Here’s whats happened (so far):
My first run-in came from one of my ‘maids. Long story short, she wants to bring her boyfriend to the wedding and for several reasons – the main one being that neither I nor the PHI have a relationship with him – we’ve essentially told her no. Honestly, I thought the matter was settled a year ago (yes, I am saying that in a year we still don’t feel like we know him; long story). But I was accosted at my FL shower about this dead-horse issue. The difference this time was she asked me in front of a small crowd of people. So I couldn’t say “What makes you think he’d be invited now when his name is not on the invitation label I printed last week?” like I wanted to (lol). Instead I punked out and said “We’ll have to see when the RSVPs start coming in.” I can’t believe I said that. I can’t believe she wants to invite someone to our wedding. I know, it doesn’t put us on the hook for actually giving him a seat at the reception, but I think opened her up to the possibility. But in all seriousness, who does that?
The next run-in came the very next day. I was at MamaP’s house packing my suitcase and trying to figure out how to get mostly everything home when there was a knock at the door. It was my mama’s godbrother’s ex-wife (were you able to keep up with that?) wondering why she had not been invited to the shower. She heard about at her ex-mother in law’s (MamaP’s godmommy) house, and after hearing that the shower was fab, proceeded to find out what happened to her invite. Thankfully she blamed MamaP and not me for the “oversight.” But my favorite part was when she said “I guess that means I wont be invited to the wedding…” Yup, especially after that stunt you just pulled, you’re probably right. Who. does. that.
My most recent try arrived in my inbox (yes, you read that right) last week during a pit stop to drop off the stuff we got at Sams. The PHI and I were having a domestic day (I’m now off every other Friday) and we took the opportunity to run some errands together. He’d never done Sams, and I imagine that from now on I’ll probably be venturing in there alone – lol. But anyway, for the sake of not getting worked up, the email was telling us that my sister-in-law’s sister-in-law (I know) has not only invited herself to our wedding, but has already purchased a plane ticket to SoFla.
Say it with me: who does that!?
It was initially framed as a question (i.e. “is it okay if she comes) but eventually turned into a request, complete with offering to pay for her plate and a reminder that she doesn’t have much family and considers the PHI and his family (her in-laws) to be her family too.
Fine. This stuff is all gradually driving my pressure up.
But not anymore. I’ve deposited here, I’ve told my friends (and co-workers), and now I’m back to the old Patti we know and love. I refuse for people to take away our choice in the name of wanting to celebrate with us. We’d love to invite everyone. But we cant. Nor are we going to initiate our own personal recession by trying to. So I’m putting it out there:
If you thought you were getting an invite and it never came, we’re sorry.
If you read my blog, and are interested in coming, thank you (!) but I am very sorry.
And if you think that you can just bop your way over to the Harriet Tubman* Theater on October 3rd, and we’re going to just let you in without a returned RSVP nor an initial invite, you’re sorry.
::stepping down from my soapbox::
I’ll be back very soon with pics and info on our invites and our menus that I just had printed. Unfortunately the invites didn’t price out as cheap as I’d like, but our invites more than made up for it. I am just swooning with love for them.
xoxox
*hilarious inside joke from my FL shower. Pics and recap are on the list, I promise.
See, you spend all this time strategically deciding who to invite, thinking through all the possible justifications for why they make the cut, and agonizing over people who don’t get a high enough grade on your rubric to guarantee the invite.
And all that is before the invitations even go out. In fact, usually its before you know what they’re even going to look like! Not surprisingly, as October 3rd approaches, I’ve been having more run-ins with possible uninvited guests. And I’m always pretty surprised at the source of the inquiry. Actually, my response each time has been “Who does that?!?” Here’s whats happened (so far):
My first run-in came from one of my ‘maids. Long story short, she wants to bring her boyfriend to the wedding and for several reasons – the main one being that neither I nor the PHI have a relationship with him – we’ve essentially told her no. Honestly, I thought the matter was settled a year ago (yes, I am saying that in a year we still don’t feel like we know him; long story). But I was accosted at my FL shower about this dead-horse issue. The difference this time was she asked me in front of a small crowd of people. So I couldn’t say “What makes you think he’d be invited now when his name is not on the invitation label I printed last week?” like I wanted to (lol). Instead I punked out and said “We’ll have to see when the RSVPs start coming in.” I can’t believe I said that. I can’t believe she wants to invite someone to our wedding. I know, it doesn’t put us on the hook for actually giving him a seat at the reception, but I think opened her up to the possibility. But in all seriousness, who does that?
The next run-in came the very next day. I was at MamaP’s house packing my suitcase and trying to figure out how to get mostly everything home when there was a knock at the door. It was my mama’s godbrother’s ex-wife (were you able to keep up with that?) wondering why she had not been invited to the shower. She heard about at her ex-mother in law’s (MamaP’s godmommy) house, and after hearing that the shower was fab, proceeded to find out what happened to her invite. Thankfully she blamed MamaP and not me for the “oversight.” But my favorite part was when she said “I guess that means I wont be invited to the wedding…” Yup, especially after that stunt you just pulled, you’re probably right. Who. does. that.
My most recent try arrived in my inbox (yes, you read that right) last week during a pit stop to drop off the stuff we got at Sams. The PHI and I were having a domestic day (I’m now off every other Friday) and we took the opportunity to run some errands together. He’d never done Sams, and I imagine that from now on I’ll probably be venturing in there alone – lol. But anyway, for the sake of not getting worked up, the email was telling us that my sister-in-law’s sister-in-law (I know) has not only invited herself to our wedding, but has already purchased a plane ticket to SoFla.
Say it with me: who does that!?
It was initially framed as a question (i.e. “is it okay if she comes) but eventually turned into a request, complete with offering to pay for her plate and a reminder that she doesn’t have much family and considers the PHI and his family (her in-laws) to be her family too.
Fine. This stuff is all gradually driving my pressure up.
But not anymore. I’ve deposited here, I’ve told my friends (and co-workers), and now I’m back to the old Patti we know and love. I refuse for people to take away our choice in the name of wanting to celebrate with us. We’d love to invite everyone. But we cant. Nor are we going to initiate our own personal recession by trying to. So I’m putting it out there:
If you thought you were getting an invite and it never came, we’re sorry.
If you read my blog, and are interested in coming, thank you (!) but I am very sorry.
And if you think that you can just bop your way over to the Harriet Tubman* Theater on October 3rd, and we’re going to just let you in without a returned RSVP nor an initial invite, you’re sorry.
::stepping down from my soapbox::
I’ll be back very soon with pics and info on our invites and our menus that I just had printed. Unfortunately the invites didn’t price out as cheap as I’d like, but our invites more than made up for it. I am just swooning with love for them.
xoxox
*hilarious inside joke from my FL shower. Pics and recap are on the list, I promise.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Where's Patti?
So I completely fell off last week. Normally, I'd say I wasnt sure what happened, but I know exactly what happened.
These happened.
Yes, my lovelies, those are our wedding invites, all assembled, addressed and almost ready to go in the mail. And you know what that means - its almost time for another tell-all post about how I pulled them off. Like last time, you'll have to wait until they are hand-delivered (on August 1st) and mailed. Once I get word that they've made it to the West Coast, you and I have a hot date with the invites. I better start saving up some energy, cause I got a lot of 'splainin to do.
This week (so far) and last week have been full of hunting down addresses, printing labels, using my glue runner and dots, checking and double checking lists, and shouting curse words at the guestlist that finally stopped growing (at 188 guests). My last assembly tasks are to seal them and add the postage.
Ahh, postage. Postage has been on my list of things that I've been secretly fretting about. I really wanted them to only need 1 stamp. One regular (now) $0.44 stamp. The way to do that is to make sure it weighs less than 1 ounce, is not square, and does not have any raised areas. So light, rectangular, and flat. I did that. But I couldn't really relax about it until I took it not one, but two places to be weighed.
They came in at .8 ounce.
So now I can transfer the fret to something else. Maybe the rehearsal and the rehearsal mixer dinner. But that's a story for another day.
Today I am basking in the glow of a mission accomplished. I'm pretty sure I love our invite suite - in all of its one-stamp-needing glory - way more than you're supposed to love paper. They are simply fab, classic without being fussy, and deliciously kiwi and teal.
::swoon::
♥
These happened.
Yes, my lovelies, those are our wedding invites, all assembled, addressed and almost ready to go in the mail. And you know what that means - its almost time for another tell-all post about how I pulled them off. Like last time, you'll have to wait until they are hand-delivered (on August 1st) and mailed. Once I get word that they've made it to the West Coast, you and I have a hot date with the invites. I better start saving up some energy, cause I got a lot of 'splainin to do.
This week (so far) and last week have been full of hunting down addresses, printing labels, using my glue runner and dots, checking and double checking lists, and shouting curse words at the guestlist that finally stopped growing (at 188 guests). My last assembly tasks are to seal them and add the postage.
Ahh, postage. Postage has been on my list of things that I've been secretly fretting about. I really wanted them to only need 1 stamp. One regular (now) $0.44 stamp. The way to do that is to make sure it weighs less than 1 ounce, is not square, and does not have any raised areas. So light, rectangular, and flat. I did that. But I couldn't really relax about it until I took it not one, but two places to be weighed.
They came in at .8 ounce.
So now I can transfer the fret to something else. Maybe the rehearsal and the rehearsal mixer dinner. But that's a story for another day.
Today I am basking in the glow of a mission accomplished. I'm pretty sure I love our invite suite - in all of its one-stamp-needing glory - way more than you're supposed to love paper. They are simply fab, classic without being fussy, and deliciously kiwi and teal.
::swoon::
♥
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Another E-vitation Idea
Remember how I was telling you all about Paperless Post yesterday? Well, I've stumbled upon a better idea. One that combines a my original idea and MamaP's email suggestion. I'm not terribly sure this will work, but for the sake of explanation, I'll explain my original idea first.
Initially, I wanted to either design our Rehearsal Mixer invite myself (surprise, surprise). I hadn't fully settled on the design, but had definitely narrowed it down to a few options.
{found it on Etsy!}
If I didn't design it myself, I would order this (minus the picture, plus green and teal) for our event. I think its pretty cute, yet adult, and the fonts and text can be customized in any way we'd like. How this would work is that I'd be paying for a digital design and the seller will email me the design as a .jpeg. That way we'd be free to print it however we'd like. Or not at all.
That brings me to my current idea. Mind you, this hinges on me ultimately deciding its okay to email someone a rehearsal dinner invitation. But anyway, we could get it designed on Etsy, and then email the digital image. It would look kinda like this:
{thanks again Mrs. Daffodil}
When Mrs. Daffodil did it, she went through Microsoft Outlook and then sent it to her Gmail, and then emailed it to her guests. We use Outlook at work, so I guess that's a viable option. However, I just saw that you can insert images in the body of emails in Gmail now, so I think if we do this, I'm going to just try with Gmail first.
But like I said, its still an idea right now. One I'm warming up to and that I think would work. So we'll see. Still got a little bit of time...
♥
Initially, I wanted to either design our Rehearsal Mixer invite myself (surprise, surprise). I hadn't fully settled on the design, but had definitely narrowed it down to a few options.
If I didn't design it myself, I would order this (minus the picture, plus green and teal) for our event. I think its pretty cute, yet adult, and the fonts and text can be customized in any way we'd like. How this would work is that I'd be paying for a digital design and the seller will email me the design as a .jpeg. That way we'd be free to print it however we'd like. Or not at all.
That brings me to my current idea. Mind you, this hinges on me ultimately deciding its okay to email someone a rehearsal dinner invitation. But anyway, we could get it designed on Etsy, and then email the digital image. It would look kinda like this:
When Mrs. Daffodil did it, she went through Microsoft Outlook and then sent it to her Gmail, and then emailed it to her guests. We use Outlook at work, so I guess that's a viable option. However, I just saw that you can insert images in the body of emails in Gmail now, so I think if we do this, I'm going to just try with Gmail first.
But like I said, its still an idea right now. One I'm warming up to and that I think would work. So we'll see. Still got a little bit of time...
♥
Monday, July 13, 2009
Paperless Post
What are your thoughts about rehearsal dinner invitations?
Personally, I look at them as another opportunity to send out cute invitations...and another non-budgeted line item. Yeah, I guess I feel two ways about them - lol.
But what about you? Any preconceived ideas about what they should look like?
Like I said, I always assumed ours would be paper - requiring a stamp and in a perfect world a rsvp so we'd know how many to expect at the mixer. Particularly since were inviting people outside of the bridal party. However, when I mentioned it to MamaP, she (long story short) assumed they were no big deal, and that we could send notification through email.
Email?
Email.
Up until recently, I would have openly balked at the idea. I mean seriously, how would you feel if you received a rehearsal mixer invitation over email? It would need to be done right, right? Well, what if it arrived looking like this:
This, dear readers is what you would see if your invitation or announcement was sent by Paperless Post. Paperless Post is a new-ish service that essentially sends digital invitations for a small fee (like $5 to send 60) that look like real ones. Ribbon embellishment and all (if you're into that like I am). Think of it as the Bently's of evites.
I like that I can "design" them one night, and send them out the same night. No need to have them printed, address envelopes, or hunt down stamps. And from what I gather, people can even rsvp for your event through the invite itself (like Evite).
I'm not sure I want to go the email route. And I'm not sure if I did I'd use Paperless Post. Part of me wants to have a little more control over what it looks like. Thankfully (I guess) we haven't nailed down all the details for the rehearsal and the rehearsal mixer, so I really have some time. Tomorrow, I wanna talk about another idea I have that involves emailing invitations.
But before I go, back to my original questions. What are your thoughts about rehearsal dinner invites? And what are your thoughts about receiving them through email?
♥
Personally, I look at them as another opportunity to send out cute invitations...and another non-budgeted line item. Yeah, I guess I feel two ways about them - lol.
But what about you? Any preconceived ideas about what they should look like?
Like I said, I always assumed ours would be paper - requiring a stamp and in a perfect world a rsvp so we'd know how many to expect at the mixer. Particularly since were inviting people outside of the bridal party. However, when I mentioned it to MamaP, she (long story short) assumed they were no big deal, and that we could send notification through email.
Email?
Email.
Up until recently, I would have openly balked at the idea. I mean seriously, how would you feel if you received a rehearsal mixer invitation over email? It would need to be done right, right? Well, what if it arrived looking like this:
This, dear readers is what you would see if your invitation or announcement was sent by Paperless Post. Paperless Post is a new-ish service that essentially sends digital invitations for a small fee (like $5 to send 60) that look like real ones. Ribbon embellishment and all (if you're into that like I am). Think of it as the Bently's of evites.
I like that I can "design" them one night, and send them out the same night. No need to have them printed, address envelopes, or hunt down stamps. And from what I gather, people can even rsvp for your event through the invite itself (like Evite).
I'm not sure I want to go the email route. And I'm not sure if I did I'd use Paperless Post. Part of me wants to have a little more control over what it looks like. Thankfully (I guess) we haven't nailed down all the details for the rehearsal and the rehearsal mixer, so I really have some time. Tomorrow, I wanna talk about another idea I have that involves emailing invitations.
But before I go, back to my original questions. What are your thoughts about rehearsal dinner invites? And what are your thoughts about receiving them through email?
♥
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
You Down With OPI?
OPI: (n) meaning other people's invites.
I've always loved paper and stationary, and wedding planning has severly amplified that love. Last night, while making up our bed MamaP called to tell me about a wedding invite she'd just received in the mail. In the year and some change we've been engaged, I've gotten quite knowledgeable about invites and paper goods in general. So naturally, MamaP was calling to give me a walk thru of the invite and then discuss the aspects that...um, lets just say there were some parts where they dropped the ball.
Instead of trying to tell you about the invite (which I will) I want you to be properly equipped to evaluate it first. Enter one of my favorite wedding planning/invitaitons/advice resources. Mrs. Cupcake over at WeddingBee wrote a 12 Steps to Creating DIY Invitations post that I am sure was as helpful to other brides as it was to me. Its not that she said anything that was terribly profound. Its that all of this advice was in the same place, making it one easy resource for those who are making their own invites, or having to consult on the process while someone else makes them :)
She has 12 steps in total, but I'm only including my faves here.
Hold up.
I am actually in the camp that believes that including your registry information in the invite is tacky. MamaP and I went back and forth about it several times (she wanted to do it, I didn't) and ultimately I told her no. That's what our wedding website is for. But I can understand why a couple would want to. Its hard to say that you didn't know when you've seen the info several times. However, I do draw the line at saying I want cash. People know you want cash. They know you'd love a gift card. Imma need you to leave that part out. Or put it on your website.
And the last one, the date issue, I cant even deal with. Granted, most people wont notice, but it only takes one. Like my Granma. That woman is 85 years old and still sharp as a tack. She would notice and call you out. Its right up there with people saying June 9th, 2009 like this couple did. I shudder a bit when I see that one (most recently on a college commencement program). The thing about the date situation is that once you know the rule, you will always know the rule. Its almost as if its written in red ink and is calling your name. You will see it. And you will cringe. And then you'll probably show it to someone else (who you'll probably have to tell about the rule so they'll see the problem too).
The moral of the story today is two-fold. First, don't let that be you. I could take it back to giving yourself ample time to plan a wedding, but I've spent enough time on my soapbox, so I wont go there. If you're making your own invites do your research and have several people look them over. Hell, I'll even look over them for you if you'd like. Get lots of feedback from people who will actually read it and process the information and not just look at it. If you're having them made professionally, still have several people look them over. The worst possible thing is to have them produced or mailed out, and see something that you should have caught ages ago.
Second, if you send an invitation to me or MamaP were going to discuss it. We are also most likely to be one of the few guests that keeps the paper-goods after the event. So you better make it fab, 'cause we'll have the evidence.
::putting my soapbox away for the day::
♥
I've always loved paper and stationary, and wedding planning has severly amplified that love. Last night, while making up our bed MamaP called to tell me about a wedding invite she'd just received in the mail. In the year and some change we've been engaged, I've gotten quite knowledgeable about invites and paper goods in general. So naturally, MamaP was calling to give me a walk thru of the invite and then discuss the aspects that...um, lets just say there were some parts where they dropped the ball.
Instead of trying to tell you about the invite (which I will) I want you to be properly equipped to evaluate it first. Enter one of my favorite wedding planning/invitaitons/advice resources. Mrs. Cupcake over at WeddingBee wrote a 12 Steps to Creating DIY Invitations post that I am sure was as helpful to other brides as it was to me. Its not that she said anything that was terribly profound. Its that all of this advice was in the same place, making it one easy resource for those who are making their own invites, or having to consult on the process while someone else makes them :)
She has 12 steps in total, but I'm only including my faves here.
2. Think carefully about your “reply by” date.Sadly, the invite MamaP received seemingly missed all three of those steps. MamaP got the invite in the mail yesterday, and the wedding is on July 4th. She has exactly one week to respond. I guess since they sent STDs, they figure people pretty much know already. Our own theory is that because the wedding is was planned in 7 months, they ordered the invites as soon as the details were finalized and they mailed them out as soon as they could. Either way, I think they're setting themselves up to get a large number of late RSVPs. They also included their registry information AND the fact that cash and gift cards are welcome.
If your venue needs a final count a week before your wedding, set your response date for 2.5-3 weeks before your big day. This gives you a few days to let the procrastinators get their response cards to you (taking into account the fact that the USPS may take a few days), and then have at least a week or so to round up responses from the rest of the stragglers (still also allowing you enough time to put together your seating arrangement if you’re having assigned seating). If your invitees are notorious for being hard to track down, maybe push that date up one more week to give yourself extra time to get answers from everyone. Our reply date was September 1 and we started calling people who didn’t respond on September 6, as we had to let our venue know our final count on September 17th (and we also needed a few days to get our seating arrangement and place cards together).
5. It’s “Two thousand nine”, not “Two thousand AND nine”.
This is a constant battle with some invitation clients who insist that the year should read “Two thousand and nine”, but grammatically, the proper way of writing the year is “Two thousand nine” — no “and”. This is a pretty common mistake, thus most of your guests think it is written with an “and” too, so ultimately it’s not a big deal if you already included it on your invitations. But, being the crazy OCD designer/typesetter that I am, I am a little crazy about making sure my invitations are grammatically correct and I always notice this now on other people’s invitations. (It’s a curse.)
7. Don’t include registry information.
Please don’t beat me up for this one! Although I have heard the argument that some people need to know this information and it’s more convenient for guests to have it all right there, the truth of the matter is it is just not polite. 80% of your guests may appreciate the information, but are you willing to accept that you’ll offend the other 20% enough that they won’t show up to your wedding, OR give you a gift? Proper etiquette can sometimes be stuffy, but this is one etiquette rule that I think should be followed because there are bound to be some traditionalists on your guest list. Stick to passing registry information along by word-of-mouth (tell your parents and bridal party, and they are free to include it on a shower invitation since THEY are hosting the shower for the purpose of showering you with gifts). If you or your parents are close enough to people to invite them to your wedding, it shouldn’t be difficult for them to pick up the phone to call you or a family member to inquire about your registries. Perhaps also include it discreetly on your wedding website, which you’ll likely direct your guests to via an insert in your wedding invitations. But just don’t include your registry information in your invitations.
{you can check out the other 9 steps here}.
Hold up.
I am actually in the camp that believes that including your registry information in the invite is tacky. MamaP and I went back and forth about it several times (she wanted to do it, I didn't) and ultimately I told her no. That's what our wedding website is for. But I can understand why a couple would want to. Its hard to say that you didn't know when you've seen the info several times. However, I do draw the line at saying I want cash. People know you want cash. They know you'd love a gift card. Imma need you to leave that part out. Or put it on your website.
And the last one, the date issue, I cant even deal with. Granted, most people wont notice, but it only takes one. Like my Granma. That woman is 85 years old and still sharp as a tack. She would notice and call you out. Its right up there with people saying June 9th, 2009 like this couple did. I shudder a bit when I see that one (most recently on a college commencement program). The thing about the date situation is that once you know the rule, you will always know the rule. Its almost as if its written in red ink and is calling your name. You will see it. And you will cringe. And then you'll probably show it to someone else (who you'll probably have to tell about the rule so they'll see the problem too).
The moral of the story today is two-fold. First, don't let that be you. I could take it back to giving yourself ample time to plan a wedding, but I've spent enough time on my soapbox, so I wont go there. If you're making your own invites do your research and have several people look them over. Hell, I'll even look over them for you if you'd like. Get lots of feedback from people who will actually read it and process the information and not just look at it. If you're having them made professionally, still have several people look them over. The worst possible thing is to have them produced or mailed out, and see something that you should have caught ages ago.
Second, if you send an invitation to me or MamaP were going to discuss it. We are also most likely to be one of the few guests that keeps the paper-goods after the event. So you better make it fab, 'cause we'll have the evidence.
::putting my soapbox away for the day::
♥
Friday, January 16, 2009
Miss Manners is my Homegirl
Today while perusing the SoFla board on TheKnot I came across something very interesting posted by iLoveMrBurpsalot:
First of all, can I get an Amen?
Second, the PHI and I plan to invite sig.o's that we have a relationship with. If we know you, then the invite is addressed to you (married or not), not to a very vague "and guest."
We have no problems feeding and entertaining those we love and care about. Its the randoms that we take issue with.
♥
Dear Miss Manners,
I have noticed lately, that amongst women of the same age group as myself who are engaged and planning large, expensive weddings, that my single friends are invited to said weddings without "and guest" added to their invitations.
It is almost as if the engaged women, in an attempt to keep cost down, have decided that the single women, whether they are dating someone or not, do not get the option to bring someone along to the wedding and reception.
Is this rude? I feel that just because these women are not married or engaged, they still should have the opportunity to bring a date to the wedding and that by assuming their dates just aren't as important if not legally bound by law, the engaged woman is being presumptuous and rude. What are your thoughts?
Gentle Reader,
That the invitation is to a wedding, not to an evening out on the town, and it is not rude not to be married in front of strangers who mean nothing to them and not much to you. If you must scour up a date, Miss Manners suggests looking over the single gentlemen at the wedding, who would not have been asked to bring along "and guest" either.
First of all, can I get an Amen?
Second, the PHI and I plan to invite sig.o's that we have a relationship with. If we know you, then the invite is addressed to you (married or not), not to a very vague "and guest."
We have no problems feeding and entertaining those we love and care about. Its the randoms that we take issue with.
♥
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Memo
TO: Everyone
FROM: Patti, Wedding President and CEO
RE: Downsizing
In an effort to ensure that the bride gets exactly what she wants we have had to let someone go. Effectively immediately, we will not be using a graphic designer to design wedding paper correspondence. If you have any further questions, feel free to contact Dani and she will be able to assist you.
PD
Yes, folks. I am in the process of letting my graphic designer go. I really like her, but honestly, working with her was not as fun as I thought it would be. It just felt too much like work (if that makes any sense at all). I was going to keep going because I committed myself to working with her (no contact though), until I decided to throw together some signage. As I was admiring my work, I realized I had some thoughts about the rest of of the paper goods. I knew I wanted our names in script, what the fonts would be, and that there would be minimal enclosures. I knew we wouldn't have a pocket fold. I knew the invites would be printed on white paper with a colored backing. I knew they would be kiwi and teal. Somehow.
Basically, I realized that I had a design in mind. And after pulling together that signage, fairly quickly, I knew I could do it. I'd already been doing research on envelopes and cardstock, so I basically needed to design, order the materials, have everything cut, and then assemble. Four steps. 6 months to get it done.
Sounded doable to me. And MamaP. And Dani. So were going forward. I still havent figured out all the specifics yet, but I know it will only cost me one stamp to mail them and that were doing a card (rather than a post card) for the replies. I'm also playing around with the idea of a an inner vellum envelope. The only small speedbump is what to do about our Save the Dates. I have a design in mind, but I dont think I have the proper software to put it in the correct format. I may get some help with that becasuse those suckers need to go out in the next 6 weeks or so (dont get me started on my lack of addresses to put on them). Other than that, I have a pretty solid plan of attack for our invites, and I cant wait to share them with you.
...and I know you're dying to see what I've come up with.
♥
FROM: Patti, Wedding President and CEO
RE: Downsizing
In an effort to ensure that the bride gets exactly what she wants we have had to let someone go. Effectively immediately, we will not be using a graphic designer to design wedding paper correspondence. If you have any further questions, feel free to contact Dani and she will be able to assist you.
PD
Yes, folks. I am in the process of letting my graphic designer go. I really like her, but honestly, working with her was not as fun as I thought it would be. It just felt too much like work (if that makes any sense at all). I was going to keep going because I committed myself to working with her (no contact though), until I decided to throw together some signage. As I was admiring my work, I realized I had some thoughts about the rest of of the paper goods. I knew I wanted our names in script, what the fonts would be, and that there would be minimal enclosures. I knew we wouldn't have a pocket fold. I knew the invites would be printed on white paper with a colored backing. I knew they would be kiwi and teal. Somehow.
Basically, I realized that I had a design in mind. And after pulling together that signage, fairly quickly, I knew I could do it. I'd already been doing research on envelopes and cardstock, so I basically needed to design, order the materials, have everything cut, and then assemble. Four steps. 6 months to get it done.
Sounded doable to me. And MamaP. And Dani. So were going forward. I still havent figured out all the specifics yet, but I know it will only cost me one stamp to mail them and that were doing a card (rather than a post card) for the replies. I'm also playing around with the idea of a an inner vellum envelope. The only small speedbump is what to do about our Save the Dates. I have a design in mind, but I dont think I have the proper software to put it in the correct format. I may get some help with that becasuse those suckers need to go out in the next 6 weeks or so (dont get me started on my lack of addresses to put on them). Other than that, I have a pretty solid plan of attack for our invites, and I cant wait to share them with you.
...and I know you're dying to see what I've come up with.
♥
Thursday, September 4, 2008
I knew it!
Look what I found on the net the other day:
I always knew this was the deal....now I have proof! Happy Thursday!
♥
I always knew this was the deal....now I have proof! Happy Thursday!
♥
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Who Cares About Invites? I Do, I Do!
So wedding planning has almost consumed all of my non-existent free time. Wait, no. I probably would have waaaay more time to do things (period) if I werent planning a wedding. The upside of having a good year plus lead time on a wedding? Well duh, the obvious. Theres plenty of time to plan! The downside? Theres plenty of time to plan.
Case in point: I've fallen in love with 2 sets of wedding invitations already, and would love to find some kind of way to incorporate a third type of invite into the "stationary mix."
My first invite love:
(Image courtesy AlaunByDesign)
For a good while, I was sold on this one. I had envisioned ways to put our stank on it (stole that from Jase), and it was going to be cute and cost effective. For the invite, the RSVP, the reception card, a thank you note, and envelopes for the invite, RSVP, and TY note, it will cost me $1.80/set. Yes, you read that correctly, for less than $2 a set, I'd essentially be set stationary wise. I realize I'll probably be writing TY notes until the cows come home, but I could at least announce and get people to the wedding, figure out whose going to come (or rather, who mom wont have to call), and thank the initial set of gift-givers. Pretty sweet, right? Until I purchased my second dress.
Yes, you read that correctly. I am officially on Dress #2, and am stopping with Dress#2. The drama with the dress that I bought and am in love with will have to be saved for another post, but just know that is is a combo that cant be beat: I love it, its good for mom's budget, I wont look crazy in it 20 years from now, and its "simply stunning." But again, more on the dress much later. After I purchased Dress#2, I went back on the hunt for stylish yet classy (think: pretty) invites, and I stumbled across my current invite love:
(Image courtesy AlaunByDesign)
This second invite I love for a few reasons. Not only is it gorgeous: can you picture it with a dark plum background and kiwi satin ribbon? But it is be-ribboned. And in the deep recesses of the wedding planning that I have in my mind, ribbon will work itself to be a very important detail in the grand scheme of my wedding. I'll reveal a little more as the time comes closer (and as I work out the logistics and details), but I can tell you now that unless I cave to a ribbon-less invite for the sake of the budget, my invite will have ribbon...and it will be all-up-and-thru my wedding and reception!
Anyway, my point is that I have waay too much wedding-related stuff going on in my head. I have TONS of ideas about things I want to do/incorporate/make happen for the wedding, and am trying my hardest to be flexible, authentic, and enjoy the process of wedding planning. But...with all things, its a process. So expect lots of longish posts like this with details about things I'm thinking of/purchasing. And yes, I will totally post the pics of the actual invites I end up with. God knows how many invite-related permutations I'll go through between now and when they need to be ordered (sometime Winter 2009).
One final-ish note about invites: Yes, I do infact realize that there is a miniscule group of people who will care about my wedding invitations. Do I care? NO. How do I know that there are people who will care despite Jase telling me otherwise? Because I am one of those people, and refuse to believe I am alone. Thats why people who make notecards are in business...for people like me who believe you should always have a variety of cute TY notes to send out when you need to thank someone and want to take the old-skool route.
So for those of you who are awesome (like me), and give a damn: I genuinely hope you like them.
And for the rest of you...I hope you read them. AND I hope you return your RSVP ontime. Trust me, you will want to do that - more on that later :)
xoxox
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Today Was Kinda a Big Deal
Today was important because I did quite a few wedding things. Important (albeit very early on) wedding things. I talked to the people who I want to do our invites (which Idunno about you, but they’re pretty important to me), and I know I don’t want them to be overdone or fussy. And I hate those that have those mysterious pearlescent people on them in some ambiguous ensemble in a ridiculous mid-tango embrace. Sorry. I really odnt like them. And I know two people who have had that type of invite. Actually, believe it or not, I expressed my (now obvious) dislike for them before I found out Dr. Hunt’s sister had them as her invites. Ah well. I stood behind my sentiments. Those things are not the hotness.
So yeah, talked to the invite lady. And then spent about 30 minutes obsessing over the conversation we had. I thought I was prepped for the chat…but I was only kinda prepped. So much so that I will need to call back tomorrow or email them to clear up/modify our initial design. Thankfully they need the language I wanna use before they can print my sample and send it out. Arguably, I need to run the wording by jase. But its just a sample, I can have that printed, right? Hmm. I better tell him about it just in case. Which means the earliest they’ll get wording from me will be tomorrow night. Hell, the wedding is next year – I have time. LOL.
I also spent some time at work constructing what has become the master list for the wedding. (See, told ya I worked…never said it was all IRS related) And as Krissi alluded, its got tons of stuff on it. But essentially, I found myself getting caught up in invites, then place cards, but I want to be able to frame particulars in the grand scheme of the aspect of the wedding day they will pertain to. So, for example, those place cards are in the “cocktail hour” category, along with some way to display them (which I have my eye a Martha stewart thingie to handle that), as well as the gangsta relatives I’m going ot need to man the door in case people decide they wanna come all up in my reception but didn’t bother to RSVP, etc. Yes, I said gangsta…and I meant it. Because I feel like anyone who gets caught out there without having responded but believes they can come anyway may have a bit of ‘tude.
So yeah, talked to the invite lady. And then spent about 30 minutes obsessing over the conversation we had. I thought I was prepped for the chat…but I was only kinda prepped. So much so that I will need to call back tomorrow or email them to clear up/modify our initial design. Thankfully they need the language I wanna use before they can print my sample and send it out. Arguably, I need to run the wording by jase. But its just a sample, I can have that printed, right? Hmm. I better tell him about it just in case. Which means the earliest they’ll get wording from me will be tomorrow night. Hell, the wedding is next year – I have time. LOL.
I also spent some time at work constructing what has become the master list for the wedding. (See, told ya I worked…never said it was all IRS related) And as Krissi alluded, its got tons of stuff on it. But essentially, I found myself getting caught up in invites, then place cards, but I want to be able to frame particulars in the grand scheme of the aspect of the wedding day they will pertain to. So, for example, those place cards are in the “cocktail hour” category, along with some way to display them (which I have my eye a Martha stewart thingie to handle that), as well as the gangsta relatives I’m going ot need to man the door in case people decide they wanna come all up in my reception but didn’t bother to RSVP, etc. Yes, I said gangsta…and I meant it. Because I feel like anyone who gets caught out there without having responded but believes they can come anyway may have a bit of ‘tude.
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