Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Not Yo Mama's Wedding Organizer

Reason #2 why I couldnt write for a living: I have to wait for inspiration to hit me, and I can never predict when and where it will happen.

Whats reason #1 you ask? My degrees are in psychology...not writing. And anyone who has read psychological writing (particularly journal articles) will know exactly what I'm talking about. Yes, were encouraged to write clearly, but its usually written using terminology that only other psychologists will ever possibly understand, and at this unbelieveable level of minutiae (sp?) so that (us regular folk) would never care that much. Yes, us regular folk. See, I can turn my psycho-babble on and off when I need to - lol.

But anyway, inspiration hit...kinda. I was talking to Ms. Secka tonight about her day which was unbelievably long and a little dramatic, when I introduced her to my wedding organizer. I keep wanting to call it my wedding planner, but when I tell people about it, they believe i'm talking about my version of JLo, not the lovely lime colored binder that is probably the newest member of my inner circle (haha). She was telling me how she is going to be doing some wedding planning of her own for her daughter and how she would need to get something to keep herself organized - but not on the level of my "control book." I hadnt thought of it as a control book - its just a well organized binder with an empty pencil case for swatches, cardstock, writing utensils, etc.

I had never called it a control book. But on many levels it is. Literally, its where all the details of the PHI and I's wedding will exist in the physical form - yes, there are tons of things swirling around in my head, and even more still in various forms of development that live on my jumpdrive waiting to be introduced to the "control book" and to my wedding crew. Figuratively, because it is the keeper of the wedding details, it you posess it, you are essentially in a position of control - if for no other reason because "you got the power! (in my best high pitched singing voice).

The last level is a bit more existential. Wait, I'm not sure thats the word I wanna use, but we'll roll with it for now. However, I think referring to what is essentially a binder - albeit one filled with sheet protectors, whole punched pieces of notebook and printer paper, and labled dividers - used for wedding things as a control book reflects society's greater tendency to perpetuate the ideal that what the bride wants, the bride gets. The bride is in control of the wedding day. Almost to the point where the groom (who historically is N.I.D. - not into details - including my own) just expects to be not included because in his mind thats what grooms do. They propose, buy the ring, show up in the appropriate outfit hopefully not too hung over and ready to pose and be all about the bride. See? The bride is in control, from what she wears, to what her girls and their escorts wear, to the colors and the flowers, and the food and the cake, and the location and the favors, and the on and on and on and on.

If I allow myself to get all caught up (a la the bridezilla persuasion), I could really go on this massive power trip as the "Keeper of the Binder."

I'm telling ya, these days an organizer is not just an organizer. Its 1) entitlement, 2) wrapped up with some of that fairy dust that dreams are made out of that the tooth fairy uses to power her segueway (yes, in my world the toothfairy carpools with the Easter bunny and when theyre not together, she rides a segueway) plus 3) a lifetime of little girl dreams and wishes about being a princess and having the wedding of her dreams. I wasnt that girl. Believe it or not I did not dream about my dream wedding. But I was the girl who kept impeccably organized binders. And thanks to Alethia Mae Ransom, I always had the most up to date school supplies to statisfy my organizational cravings.

Long story short: this is not yo mama's wedding organizer. And whether you buy an organizer, or make your own, for any organized bride, its the heart and soul of the wedding planning. At some point, it will be virtually irreplaceable, and the source of answers and information for all involved. Its going to control the wedding! And considering it screams me (in an obnoxious tone), its so my book. It is my "Wedding Control Book." And what level am I running with? Lets roll with them all. Face it, whether you like it or not, the wedding buck starts AND stops with me :)



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