Friday, October 3, 2008

Dont Know Much About Reform School

A few years ago I discovered Wild Words from Wild Women (WW fr WW for short). As the name suggests, its chock full or quotes from all kinds of women on all kinds of things. Totally sounds like something I’d be into, right? My favorite WW fr WW are about relationships, and Thursday’s didn’t let me down:

“Marriage is not a reform school” – Ann Landers

That Ann Landers is the truth.

My mama has given me some really good advice over the years. In fact, a lot of it I still quote like it’s the gospel. A lot of it I internalize, personalize, and pass along to my friends. Today’s “Mama Said” tidbit: You shouldn’t try to change a man. And now I frequently share that with others…actually, its one of my best pieces of relationship advice (yes, I’m popping my own collar). The thing is, that savory tidbit extends beyond men – you shouldn’t try to change people, period. I’ve found that you have no control over who someone else is – what they think, what they say, what they do. But what you are fully in control of is how you respond to them. You are choosing to get mad. You are choosing to be thrilled. You are choosing not to care. However you manage to cope is completely up to you, but you must realize it’s the only thing you can reliably control.

Knowing and loving the PHI has taught me a good bit about men. Sometimes we just think differently. I’m a processer, I’m a back-up plan-er (yes, I made that up…I’m usually working on an alternative approach while I’m pitching the current one to him). That whole go-with-your-gut thing? I have a “practical” gut, whereas his gut is a dreamer. I’m creative and girly. He’s a man’s man thru and thru. But we totally work. Partially because I’ve never tried to change him (and the other part because just rocks).

Last but not least, loving the PHI just supports something I’ve always known. You have to take ownership over your thoughts, feelings and actions. You have to take people at where/who they are and what path their life is on, and deal. Love them, or leave them alone.

Besides, how would you feel if someone tried to change you?

Exactly. ♥


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