Monday, February 16, 2009

Deciding on the Musiq

There have been very few things in the wedding planning process that the PHI and I just fundamentally disagreed on. Most of the discrepancies have been minor, and we've both been willing to compromise on something we could live with.

Our first dance song decision was not been nearly as smooth.

This task started out on the PHI's list of wedding responsibilities. For some reason (completely unknown to me) I assumed he would mysteriously be able to choose a song that we'd both be in love with. He chose this song:

It's called Happily Ever After and is sung by a little known artist named Case. I love this song. And if we were getting married 5-7 years ago, he would have been on to something. But despite loving it, I just didn't have a good feeling about it. Something inside me cringed when I pictured that song being the soundtrack of our first dance. But the PHI was so excited about it, and even changed it to his ring tone. I couldn't burst that bubble, could I? I waited about a month before I mentioned it. He eventually understood my hesitation, and agreed that we still had plenty of time to make a final decision. We both knew we'd find something.

Its at that point that we started what can only be called The Song Game. I'd throw out a suggestion, and he'd shoot it down. He'd suggest something, and I'd shoot it down. We considered having two songs - a bride's song and a groom's song. If we went that route, we'd dance to his song first (guaranteed he'd pick a slow song) and then dance to my choice (I was feeling I Need You by Alicia Keys). At one time, MamaP was even making suggestions! Her fave was Take You Out (aka Excuse Me Miss) by Luther Vandross which was a tribute to how we met.

What I realized through this process was that the lyrics were very important to me. So we needed a combination of the lyrics and the sounds together saying "first dance". For me, I needed the song to speak to our love for each other and the promise of forever we are making. I needed the song to say I've called off the search, you are the one my soul has been searching for. And that's it. I don't want to hear about how I've put up with you and the baby mama drama. Just the love.

Case was not going to cut it.

Fast forward to fairly recently. One of our favorite artists, soul singer Musiq Soulchild has just released a new album. The PHI and I are both huge Musiq fans but dragged our feet a bit in getting the new album and listening to it. One day I get a call from the PHI telling me he's listening to the Musiq album and is feeling track 9. A joint called Someone. I kinda remembered that song, and knew I liked it, but that was about it. I immediately popped open iTunes to investigate. Musiq basically sells his albums singing about love, so I was not surprised to hear it was a love song.

What I was surprised to hear were lyrics like this:
Someone who will put up with the things
Loving me can bring
But still be there to see us through
Someone who would put up
With the strange and complicated things
Cause I would do the same for her too
Someone who I can be real with
Aint gotta be perfect
Because loving one another is all that matters
It's not hard to explain
So believe me when I say
That I found all of that in you
My lovely readers, I had stumbled upon a song that lyrically was up to snuff. Like, I could have written those myself. It only took one more listen for me to instantly envision the PHI and I out there swirling around the dance floor (yes, the PHI likes to swirl me around). The melody is smooth and romantic, but has some passion behind it. Kinda like the PHI :)

Lyrics AND music? Check.

I called the PHI to get his opinion on making this our choice, and after reading him some excerpts of from the lyrics, he was sold. We had found a song. A song we both could stand behind. A song that when we hear it we smile and sing along. A song we both liked independently, but love even more because of what it will mean to us as a couple.

This was not an easy decision, and it feels good to have it taken care of. Plus, I love the lyrics so much that I've decided to integrate them into some other wedding details. This was important to us: initially to the PHI, and increasingly more to me as we went along. I'm so glad this is a decision that we ultimately made together.

How do you think you will decide? If you've already decided, how ever did you do it?


  1. We've already started this convo because are unfortunately music freaks. The way we've been hashing it out is in the car. No talking...just pulling up songs listening on the road (for some reason its more intense than listening at home) and going through the list...I think we are narrowing it down....fingers crossed.

  2. I feel like...
    case-happily ever after (sigh)


    That is all.

  3. @DCG: No, I think its good to start the convo early. I had no idea it would have taken this long to make a selection.

    @LHV: Kakes, I think that's what it is. That and Jagged Edge - Lets Get Married. The PHI is a huge JE fan and I had to shoot that one down before he even brought it up. Thankfully, my dress is light ivory - lol.

  4. Case and JE?


    I think i'm going to go with some retro ish. and NOT At Last. I'm over that song and have been since BEFORE the inauguration. I was kinda disappointed at the 1st couple for that song...

    Don't let me find the right Beatles song.

  5. The song took us forever to find our first dance song. We were hell bent on not having one that had been heard before and one that meant something to us lyric took awhile, but i LOVED ours.


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