An Open Letter to The Unexpecteds

I realize that I have very strong opinions about RSVPs. I had them before our RSVPs started trickling in, and now that the deadline has come and gone (with 35 invites still outstanding – SMH), my beliefs have been further underscored. So, at the risk exposing some of my ‘zilla tude, here is a letter that I wish I could send to people who have not RSVPd but are considering showing up, also known as The Unexpecteds.

Dear Soon to Be Unexpected Guest,

The PHI and I hope this finds you well. We are very....disheartened that you have decided to withhold your stamped RSVP. As a couple, we spent money on these invitations, tried to mail them out so that you had plenty of time to respond, and only received about 70% of them back. As you already know, yours was not in that bunch.

I assume that a lack of response indicates that you are not planning to attend. Maybe I'm wrong. But I think that if you have the audacity to not respond, then I can easily have the “audacity” to assume you aren’t coming... ...and then treat you as such when you decide to attend anyway. At our wedding, that will mean that the hostesses might ask you to stand to the side while they seat the guests that RSVPd and already have a table assignment. So, if you end up exercising your “rights” as an Unexpected, please try not to act brand new. The idea that the PHI and I just knew you were coming, despite you neglecting actually tell us is ridiculous and you know it.

If I haven’t been already, I’ll be very plain. I am adamantly against making provisions for people who might show up but did not RSVP. The PHI says that I’m getting worked up about something that has not happened yet. However, I cant stand it when everyone keeps telling me that no matter how much I plan for it, people like you still manage to show up. So what does that mean? In addition to having to wait to be seated, I can’t guarantee that your table will have a centerpiece. You’ll get a menu, cause I have plenty, but we’ll only have a set number of centerpieces, and your table may not make the cut.

There seems to be a misconception that the bride and groom’s feelings will be hurt if you quickly decline their wedding invite. Maybe for some couples that is the case. But for the PHI and I, we understand that were in a recession. We’ve turned down several invitations ourselves. If you cannot make it, that’s okay. But not sending in your RSVP because you’re afraid of hurting our feelings? Not okay. Like I said at the beginning, you already know if you’re coming or not. Why do you have to wait for us to call, text, email or Facebook you?

In closing, we understand that emergencies arise all the time and that sometimes the best intentions are not carried out. However, if you are receiving this letter, that is not exactly your situation yet, is it? We would love to have you celebrate with us next month, but would prefer if you told us about it before showing up. Normally I’d suggest some alternative ways to contact us, but considering we’ve already tried to use those ways to contact you, I can only suggest carrier pigeons at this point. It is our sincere hope that you have good luck with that.

Regards,
Soon to Be Mrs. Patti

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I know, I know. That was FULL of 'tude. I'd never actually send that to someone, but I'd be okay with people thinking I would - lol.

♥